Tears Not Yet Shed
by LakynBacon
Summary: After the Reapers were sent away from humanity and Shepard choose Synthesis, the world lost the war's Commander. How did Garrus carry on without her? How did she live in the realm away from the new reality?


Sunny and rainless days continue for the realm away from the new reality. The Reapers had stopped the destruction of all species and assisted in the reconstruction of the galaxy. A new upgrade to all life had made everything stress-free and easy. The only exception was the emotions of lost family members, friends, and pets. Although, the most tragic of all losses belonged to those that lost someone they were in love with. Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, sexual partner, the list is never ending.

The utmost heart-rending, catastrophic cost to the war was the bereavement of its Commander. When the news of her life being taken was learned, her boyfriend went into a stage of depression, yet not a single tear was shed. The Turian traveled to Tuchanka, Rannoch, Earth, and other planets that had undergone a drastic change due to Shepard's efforts. Happiness and friendship had helped Vakarian change for the better. He still did not cry from euphoria or from his heavy heart. Although only some had heard small things about Shepard, he made the Commander a legend. But, this only lasted for a while.

Several months after Shepard's decision, Garrus hardly left the bar. Tali, Joker, Chakwas, and EDI were particularly worried about him. But, they didn't know the truth behind him going into the same bar, sitting in the same spot, and ordering the same two drinks.

He always left the other alcoholic drink untouched, condensation dripping down the sides. He stayed there until it became flat and the bubbles disappeared from the human beer. It depended on the bartender working when he came in, but usually they cleaned up the drink when it was closing time.

What stopped his addiction to the substance that helped him forget, was the finding of Shepard's body. Cerberus has been abolished and the fortune of the Illusive Man had been lost; nothing could be done to save her. She was far worse now than from her previous death. The armor didn't keep everything mostly intact, but her infamous N7 breasts plate was still intact. The crew polished it and hung it on the Normandy's memorial wall. Garrus was invited to the testimonial in her memory, but was not seen at the gathering.

Vakarian kept thinking that his Commander could escape the crashing of the Citadel; even after the time for her to be alive past, he kept believing. He prayed after not praying since he was a young boy, still worshiping the filth his father stomped on. He realized that he couldn't go his whole life drinking. Shepard would have never wanted that for him.

Garrus was soon commissioned to be the security for the Council, watching over their decisions and who they appointed Spectre. He was asked again if he wanted to do Spectre Training and, again, he denied. Everyone noticed his calm and monotone mood, contrary to his previous enthusiastic approach to every situation. Even when there were assassination attempts on the Council, he was nonchalant about the entire affair.

So it was only to his former teammate's surprise when he was downed by one of these ventures on the Council's life. Garrus spent several days in the finest infirmary offered, but he was too stubborn to stay alive.

Garrus Vakarian wanted to meet the _love of his life_ again. Even the greatest of doctors and medicines could not keep him from doing that.

* * *

Of all the clouds in the sky, the whitest were always above Shepard's head. The grass was always greener under her boots. Everything she touched became gold. Even her fish didn't die of malnutrition. Her heaven looked perfect, seemed perfect, was perfect. But it was missing the best element she could wish for.

Garrus Vakarian. Turian, soldier, best friend, and lover.

Though this Utopia was flawed, it still had a bar. All alcohol was edible to everyone, and hangovers were impossible to have. The mixologists here knew what time she came everyday and had her drink prepped before she could even see the bar. The Commander's chair had her name carved into it, by a random admirer. A lone chair always resided to Shepard, everyone knew who it was for, but it was never talked about.

Thane and Mordin chatted with her about the impeccable weather, or the new people that came into this realm. They were careful to never mention Turians. But, when she walked into the bar, it was her alone time. If you knew her, you never wanted to mess with her when she drank alone.

A blue glass of liquor stood as her right-hand man, but she never drank a single drop. Her caring eyes could stare at it for hours, drinking her own weight in alcohol. Shepard's long red hair could mask the sadness expressed on her face. Though, the sadness in her eyes was hard to miss. Those beautiful, green landscapes that looked fierce in time of battle, bold in times of victory, and loving in times of happiness. No one had seen them stray from the path of depression since the last kiss of hope was given to her.

Not until the _love of her life_ came running into heaven.

* * *

**A/N: Any reviews written inspire me to write more. :) More is soon to come!  
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